You won't find it here

Entah kenapa..
2 hari ini aku lumpuh..
ga bisa diri..
ga bisa jalan..
Aku terlalu lemah.

There goes the king....
Our king..
My king..
Buried beside his mother..
On the family cemetary..

And No one can replace him..
Not me....
Not my big brother....


There goes our light..
The light of Sianturi...

Aku berusaha untuk tidak nangis..
Aku berusaha untuk tidak menitikkan air mata.
Waktu aku mencium tubuh dingin bapak.

Tapi aku masih tetap orang Batak.
Begitu acara manortor dimulai...
Aku menangis... air mataku berhamburan.

Aku ingat semua... waktu aku kecil.. aku selalu dibawa bapak pergi ke acara adat.
Aku selalu diajari manortor... dan diantara anak bapak yang laki-laki.. aku yg paling pintar manortor.

Bapak... dulu bapak mengajari aku manortor..
sekarang.. aku manortor di depan tubuh mu yang dingin.
:(

REST IN PEACE FATHER ... REST IN PEACE..
May the angels lead you into paradise,
Lamb of God,
who taketh away the sins of the world,
Grant HIM rest,
rest everlasting.

Requiscant In Pace.... mijn Papa
Requiem sempiternam.
In paradisum deducant te angeli,
Requiem et aeternam...

Agnus Dei,
qui tollis peccata mundi,
dona eis requiem,
requiem sempiternam.

"Nasa Jolma Ikkon Mate" ....

Minggu 21 Maret 2004 bapakku meninggalkan aku.. meninggalkan kami semua.. meninggalkan dunia ini..

Tapi kenapa??
KENAAAAAAAAPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAA

Aku bahkan gak bisa nangis.. aku bahkan tak menitikkan air mata...
Aku bahkan sangat tenang.. terlalu tenang untuk seorang yang kematian Bapak !!

AKU BAHKAN TIDAK PERCAYA !!!!

Why does this "accusing" word interest me? Dunno
It kept me thinking for the whole day

It started with this:

connect from user-xxxxxxx.cable.mindspring.com
Failed Authentification for vee from host user-xxxxxxx.cable.mindspring.com

(edited for security reason)

And when i found it out... This person said that I'm accusing him/her.
This person said "You can ask me politely instead of accusing me"
Hmmm
How bout.. if we reverse it..
"You can ask me politely instead of 'accusing' my host"

Anyway.. I'm not trying to start a war with you. No I'm not.
It's just a sequel from our unfinished conversation.
We're still a "friend" .. Rite ??
Nice talking with you anyway...
Yer a nice person.. I Mean it...
I really wanna be yer friend.

All alone I have started my journey
To the darkness of darkness I go
With a reason, I stopped for a moment
In this world full of pleasure so frail

Town after town on I travel
Pass through faces I know and know not
Like a bird in flight, sometimes I topple
Time and time again, just farewells

Donde Voy, donde voy
Day by day, my story unfolds
Solo estoy, solo estoy
All alone as the day I was born

Till your eyes rest in mine, I shall wander
No more darkness I know and know not
For your sweetness I traded my freedom
Not knowing a farewell awaits

You know, hearts can be repeatledly broken
Making room for the harrows to come
Along with my sorrow I buried
My tears, my smile, and your name

Donde voy, donde voy
Songs of lovetales I sing of no more
Solo estoy, solo estoy
Once again with my shadows I roam

Donde voy, donde voy
All alone as the day I was born
Solo estoy, solo estoy
Still alone with my shadows I roam